90 Minute Consultation
0. Session Spine
Opening & safety – 10–15 min
Story & impact map – 20 min
Timing & meaning – 20–25 min
Options & 14‑day plan – 20–25 min
Closing & grounding – 5–10 min
At any point, if imminent risk appears → stop timing/plan work and shift to safety + referral only.
1) Opening & Safety (10–15 min)
Orient & scope
“Thank you for being here and trusting me with this.”
“I want to be clear about what this is and isn’t.
This is not therapy or medical care; I don’t diagnose or treat.
What I can do is help you:put structure and language around what’s happening,
if you’d like, look at timing and phase,
and leave with a realistic 14‑day plan.”
“If at any point I’m concerned about your immediate safety, I’ll pause any planning and focus on helping you connect with crisis or emergency support. Is that okay with you?”
Consent & ‘why now’
“Is it alright if I take a few notes so I can send you a clear summary afterwards?”
“What made you reach out now, instead of just pushing through on your own?”
Let them talk 2–4 minutes. Reflect back one concise sentence:
“It sounds like [core theme], and you don’t want to keep doing this alone.”
Then move on; don’t deep‑dive yet.
2) Story & Impact Map (20 min)
Timeline
“Let’s sketch a quick timeline so I’m not guessing.
Since around [last New Year / about a year ago], what are the 3–5 biggest events or shocks?”
Light prompts if needed:
“Job or role changes?”
“Health or body events?”
“Family or relationship changes?”
“Moves or big money swings?”
Chunk & mirror
“What I’m hearing is:
first wave: [X],
then wave two: [Y],
and now wave three: [Z].
That is a lot for one nervous system.”
Name it as overload, not defect:
“Nothing about this list says ‘weak’ to me. It says ‘too much, too fast for one system.’”
0–10 domain check
“Gut‑level scores 0–10, right now, for:
Sleep
Body / energy
Money stress
Work / career
Relationships
Meaning / ‘why I’m here’”
Mark the two lowest and one highest (current strength).
Risk screen (for everyone in a trough)
“I ask everyone under this much stress two safety questions.”
“Recently, have you had thoughts like, ‘It would be easier if I didn’t wake up’?”
“Have you thought about ending your life, or making a plan to do that?”
If plan / intent → crisis mode:
“Thank you for telling me; I’m really glad you said that out loud.
I am concerned about your safety. Right now the priority is getting you safely through the next 24 hours, not planning 14 days.
While we’re on this call, let’s get you connected with [crisis line / 988 / ER / a trusted person].”
Stay with them while they connect, within your ethical and local limits. Document afterwards.
If no / only passive thoughts:
“Thank you for answering directly.
If that changes at any point, please interrupt me and tell me.”
3) Timing & Meaning (20–25 min)
Consent for BaZi / timing
“Do you want me to weave in a BaZi / timing view, or keep this purely practical today?”
If yes: “I’ll use it to talk about timing and themes, not fixed predictions.”
Name the phase (example language)
“From your chart and timing, you’re in a phase that wants you to:
consolidate what you’ve already built,
reorganize your life architecture,
and build a sustainable base for later life.
This particular year turns the heat up and compresses a lot of change into a short window.”
Plain‑English anchor
“This isn’t a gentle, incremental phase. It’s a restructuring phase.
Old forms of ‘who I am’ and ‘how I work’ are being taken apart quickly.”
Tie to their events
“We can see that in:
[retirement / layoff],
[relocation],
[loss or grief],
[health scares / injuries],
[money or trading shocks].
Most people do one of these at a time. You’ve had several within 12–18 months.”
Normalize & de‑shame
“So when you say you feel broken or like a failure, what I see is a system taking too many life‑quakes at once, not a defective person.”
Phase’s job (custom to their case)
“If I put this phase into three verbs for you, they’d be:
Stop: burning life force in ways your body and future can’t sustain.
Protect: your relationships, health, financial safety, and cognitive bandwidth.
Rebuild: a smaller, saner scaffold for the coming decades.”
Invite correction
“What in that lands as true?
What doesn’t fit or feels off?”
Let them edit the story with you.
4) Options & 14‑Day Plan (20–25 min)
Set scope
“We’re not going to fix your whole life in 90 minutes.
What we can do is shape the next 14 days so you’re safer, less overwhelmed, and a bit clearer.”
Introduce the four tracks
“We’ll look at four tracks:
Body
Money & work
Relationships
Mind & meaning”
A. Body
Start from their own instinct:
“If your only job for the next 14 days was to make life easier on your body, what 1–2 changes feel obvious?”
Then shrink and specify:
“On a really bad day, what’s the minimum version of that? For example:
in bed by [time] 4 nights a week,
outside for 10–15 minutes most days,
one medical follow‑up booked or confirmed.”
Keep trimming until it’s doable at their worst, not just their best.
B. Money & Work
“Right now, which money or work questions are shouting the loudest?”
Set 14‑day no‑go’s:
“For just this 14‑day window, I recommend:
no all‑in or binary bets,
no new long‑term commitments,
no irreversible decisions unless they’re about safety.”
Define 1–2 concrete moves:
“One 60–90 minute block to look at your numbers and immediate options.
And a hard cap on [trading hours / position size / total exposure], so this stops eating your nervous system.”
Tie back to phase:
“We’re protecting the future architecture, not chasing a hero move.”
C. Relationships
“Who helps you calm down, even a little?”
“Who drains you the most right now?”
Set 14‑day experiments:
“For 14 days:
reach out to [calming person] twice in a way that feels natural,
and reduce exposure to [draining contact] in a way that’s safe: fewer calls, shorter replies, or a time‑limited pause.”
Avoid big confrontations unless they clearly want that and seem resourced.
D. Mind & Meaning
Offer one simple ritual:
“At the end of each day, write or say three short lines:
one thing that was hard,
one thing that kept you alive or connected,
one small choice you’re okay with.”
Tie back to phase:
“Everything in this 14‑day plan is about cooperating with the phase you’re in:
stopping the worst bleeding,
protecting long‑term assets,
and not letting panic write your whole story.”
Fit‑check
“Where does this still feel too big or unrealistic?
Let’s shrink it until it’s doable even on your worst day.”
5) Closing & Grounding (5–10 min)
Summarize
“Here’s what I’m taking from today:
In the last [X] months you’ve been through [A, B, C].
This phase is about [restructuring / foundation / protection], which helps explain why it feels this intense.
For the next 14 days we’re focusing on:Body: [A].
Money & work: [B].
Relationships: [C].
Mind & meaning: [D].”
“I’ll send you a short written summary and your 14‑day plan so you don’t have to hold it all in your head.”
Scale of ambition
“We’re not trying to solve the next five years in one go.
We’re buying you 14 days of safer, clearer ground to stand on.”
Next steps
“After those 14 days, we can:
do a brief check‑in, or
start a 4‑week Reset Sprint if that feels right.”
Safety reminder
“If you move from ‘I’m exhausted / overwhelmed’ to ‘I might actually act on hurting myself,’ this kind of work becomes second priority.
Your job then is to reach out to [crisis line / 988 / trusted person / ER] as soon as possible.”
Grounding questions
“Right now, what feels even 5% lighter or clearer than when we started?”
“Is there anything important still unsaid that you want in the room before we close?”
Thank them
“Thank you for letting me see this part of your life.
Needing support in a phase like this is a sign your system is still trying to protect you, not that you’re weak.”
